1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
I stayed single for more than a year. That was honestly the best decision I made for myself. I truly found myself in the mess that was trailing behind me.

2. Did you keep your New Years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My new years resolution was to overcome Borderline Personality Disorder. And I did, although I still have Clinical Depression. I feel happier and stronger than ever.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not anyone close to me, but a lot of friends from school had a baby or even got married.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My childhood friend Jeremy passed away at the age of 25. He passed away after falling into a diabetic coma.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. But I did visit my family in Canberra which is the capital city of Australia.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Feeling positive about life. To relax more and laugh easily. Less tears for sure.

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I really can’t pin point one. There were many big events throughout the year. I guess November 3rd when Justin asked me to be his girlfriend.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder. It was a fucking hurdle.

9. What was your biggest failure?
So many regrets. Probaly being a raging slut and dating a lot of losers.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Borderline Personality Disorder.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
New furniture for my new place. New bed, bookshelf, clothes rack and recently a new computer desk.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Haha mine for sure.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and sad?
He knows who he is.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Cigarettes and alcohol.

15. What events did you get really, really, really excited about?
Meeting Norman Reedus at Comic Con. The Living End’s Retrospective Tour. Oh and Soundwave Music Festival.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2012?
Fun – We Are Young.

This song, this song. It pretty much relates to every Friday and Saturday night I went out and went home. With friends, guys I was dating, guys I went home with. I remember singing this song in the taxi or on the train onto a night of cheeky fun! I was happy for anyone to carry me home at the end of the night.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happy or Sad?: Happy.
Thin or Fat?: Thin.
Rich or Poor?: Poor.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Smiled!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Crying and loving someone who didn’t love me back. I truly destroyed myself.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
for 2013. With my wonderful family and boyfriend.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
Most likely my sister Regan.

22. Did you fall in love in 2012?
No. But I was still in love with someone.

23. How many one-night stands?
I lost count at 27.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
The Walking Dead.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t think so.

26. What was the best book you read?
A great book about true Australian Crimes.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery?
Garbage, Coldplay and Something Corprate.

28. What did you want and get?
Happiness.

29. What did you want and not get?
Love. But looks like I will get it this year.

30. What were your favorite films of this year?
The Campaign and The Muppet Movie.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 25. I went to the zoo in Canberra. I fed Giraffes and White Lions. Then when I came home to Adelaide I spent my birthday at The Adelaide Fringe in The Garden Of Unearthly Delights.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having Jeremy still alive.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Belinda. I don’t know. I wear what I want, I don’t follow styles.

34. What kept you sane?
Music, Cigarettes, Wine and Friends.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most/least?
Norman Reedus – I want to touch him in naughty places.
Pitbull – Need I say more. Mr Worldwide!? More like Mr Douchebag!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I had enough of my own shit going on.

37. Whom did you miss?
Sam, friends I lost through my last relationship ending, my Pug Pepper.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Justin x

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
Appreciate your loved ones. Friends and family. You never know if they’ll be around tomorrow.

40. Do you have any lost feelings of others?
Yes and no.

41.Quote a song that sums up your year:

Far away, far away
Waste away tonight
Tonight my heart’s on the loose

Talk myself out of feeling
Talk my way out of control
Talk myself out of falling in love
Falling in love with you

42. On a scale of 1-10, how well did 2012 go for you? Why did you give it this rating?
4. I truly struggled to get out of bed every morning and the lack of sleep for the night before was always a bitch. I lost someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I destroyed myself with alcohol and sex. I had no feeling. I lost one of my best friends. I was scared that I would lose my Father, still worrying today about him. I was stalked by another ex boyfriend. Borderline is a punch in the stomach. I really hurt myself but in the end I found a wonderful man who loves me for who I am today and who I was yesterday.

Thank you Brandy for the survey!

Happy New Year to my wonderful readers and friends. 2012, it was a crazy year for sure. One of the hardest years of my life. After going through a break up and a mental disorder. Over the past 12 months, I learnt to put myself back together. There were many ups and downs throughout the year. But I can say that I came out on top. Some of the greatest moments were meeting Norman Reedus, over coming Borderline Personality Disorder, my trip to Canberra, moving out of home and learning who my real friends were. The downs were my Dad’s tumour and prostate, the loss of my friend Jeremy and breaking my Macbook.

Since I last left you guys, a lot has happened. On the night of the zombie walk I met an amazing guy. Although there had been a lot of dating for me through the year I didn’t think anything would’ve come out of meeting my Justin. Yes, he met me dressed as a zombie. After I met him I found out my Dad had a tumour in his hand so I kept my distance from everyone. After a week I bumped into him again, I apolgised for not responding to him and the rest is history. We’ve now been together for over 2 months. He treats me like a princess, always puts me first and makes me smile so much on the inside. I’m truly excited for my future with him. He’s the first boy I’ve been with that I’ve slowed myself down for and have matured. Less partying and socialising. I never thought I could be one of those girls. How times change.

I truly have cut many people out of my life. I have a wonderful relationship with my family, especially my sister Regan. For this horrible year, I’m so thankful to have them in my life every day.

Two other big highlights that happened for me were my favourite band The Living End. These guys did a national tour, performing every album for 7 nights. It was incredible. The band and the crew just treat us like family. I also was lucky enough to meet Tom Felton, who plays Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter. Just last weekend I went on a camping trip to release Jeremy’s ashes. It was hard to say the final goodbye, but it was nice to start this brand new year all fresh. Below are some photos over the past couple of months (Scroll over for descriptions). Happy New Year guys, I’ll see you in the future.

Make sure you follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ohindiegirl

Today would’ve been my idol’s 72nd Birthday. None other than Sir John Winston Lennon.

From the age of 15, lets just say I turned into a complete Beatle Nut. All those who know me well, know how much this band means to me. They changed my views in my life and of course on Music. John Lennon was a man who truly inspired me to hang on and be strong. He had a hard childhood. When I learnt about him, I could relate to his past. Even to up to the last years of his life, it was always a struggle. He taught me to appreciate music, to believe in love and to continue in life, even when it’s at its darkest.

Please take the time to watch the little video below. It’s a film clip of George Harrison singing a song called, All Those Years Ago. Which in fact was written for John Lennon a few years after he was shot in New York in 1980. It has some real lovely clips of Mr Lennon.

In other news, this past weekend I did the 2012 Adelaide Zombie Walk. Pretty much what it is, is that you dress up as a zombie and walk through the city. My friends and I decided to dress up as The Beatles in their SGT. Pepper costumes. I was John Lennon of course. Oh and yes, I’ve changed my hair colour and style. I’ll post a recent photo of myself for you as well.

That The Beatles released their first single, “Love Me Do’.

Funny to think from this simple song, the years to come would change music history.

Life has been getting better lately. Things are starting to go back to normal. It truly has been a long grieving process. My friend who passed away, well I live with his girlfriend. Let me tell you, it has not been easy. We truly have grown closer though, and she is the most amazing girl. If it wasn’t for my friend, I would not have my beautiful housemate. Next week on the 10th it would’ve been his 26th birthday. A whole bunch of my friends are coming down next weekend to party for it. It’s going to be great to be with my friends.

It’s funny in life, how something tragic can happen and it brings you closer to people. Although, I have had a bit of the opposite affect. I’ve learnt who my real friends are.

My borderline is great. And I’m seeing someone I really like. It all seems to be getting better.

Love and light. x

I finally have internets. Oh the joy of it all.

I have nothing interesting to say right now, but listen and smile!

Thank you for all the love and support through this hard time. It’s truly been difficult. Sometimes I still feel as though I’m in a dream. But I will blog about that more later. x

I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’m confused, broken, numb, awake.

I lost one of my best friends yesterday. Since the age of six, he has been in my life. One of the first friends I made when I moved to a small country town. Amazing years and precious memories.

On the weekend, I went home to visit all of my friends in the town I grew up in. My friend was going to come along, but he was very sick since Friday. So he was unable to come. We still went. We didn’t want to get sick either. I had an amazing night in my hometown. We had a bonfire, told stories, sang to music and even commented that we wished our friend was feeling better and could be with us all. After all, we are a family. There is always a difference when someone is missing from our gang.

Oh my eyes are stinging, and I cannot see from all the tears I have cried. It hasn’t been 24 hours yet.

We spent our Sunday morning hanging out. There was a big group of us. We went for a nice walk along a wetland, we watched bad television and had a greasy breakfast.

There was a phone call and that’s when the world stopped.
We were not expecting anything. My friends girlfried collapsed to the ground and shrieked, “NO”.
I followed her, I was panicking. I couldn’t breathe. Her heart exploded.

The news came. I just stared into what felt like complete darkness. Some of my friends left the house and didn’t come home for hours. Others cried in each others arms. We all fell and no one could catch us.

We drove back to the city. We went to his house. So much screaming and crying. I couldn’t stand on his property. I stood on the foothpath, searching for a cigarette so I could calm myself. Stop myself from shaking. Everything was clouded with cobwebs of memories. The good, the bad. The future…what now.

I went home and had to leave again. Our house is filled with picture frames with his beautiful smiling face. My sister picked me up, after I told her the news and she shed some tears.

From the small amount of time that I found out about this horrible news. There was so much love and support coming in. Friends, my parents and even my boss.

I’m currently at home. With constant contact with my childhood friends. We’re all leaning on each other. No one of us slept last night. We can’t stop crying. Staring into the distance with a future without him by our sides.

I’m broken. I can’t stop…anything.

My friends will be coming up this week, so we can all be together during this hard time. I love them all, and I don’t want any of them to leave me. For who I am today, it’s partly them. We all grew up together. Children, teenagers and now adults. I want us to be friends forever.

I want him to come back to us. I’d do anything.

I have listened to this song for abut 5 hours straight now.